About It Takes One to Tango
- Hardcover: 288 pages
- Publisher: Touchstone (April 4, 2017)
The party line about marriage—what many therapists think and most books espouse—is that it takes two. We’re told that marriage is a two-way street, a fifty-fifty proposition, that successful couples are those who are willing to meet each other halfway. We’re also told that change in a marriage requires couples to have shared commitment to growth. For good things to happen both partners must be willing to put two both feet into the process.
If it takes two people to fix things, what happens when one partner is deeply discouraged, or has one foot out the door? Or when one partner is desperately longing for a more vibrant and loving relationship and the other digs in his heels or think things are fine as they are? Does that mean the more optimistic partner should just call it quits?
Conventional wisdom says yes. Marriage and family therapist, Winifred Reilly, disagrees.
In IT TAKES ONE TO TANGO: How I Rescued My Marriage With (Almost) No Help From My Spouse—and How You Can, Too (Touchstone Hardcover; April 4, 2017; 978-1-5011-2582-9), Reilly assures unhappy partners that one partner, acting alone, can create far-reaching positive change, often accomplishing change in a marriage that cannot be made any other way.
Unlike most self-help books about marriage, IT TAKES ONE TO TANGO uses the author’s personal story about trying to keep her own once troubled marriage from coming apart. Like most couples she works with, she wanted a happier marriage, not a divorce. And waiting for her change-averse husband to leap up and joyfully embrace her grand plans for remodeling her marriage wasn’t working out any better for her than it was for her clients. So she decided to rescue her marriage by herself, even though, at the outset, she had no idea whatsoever what that would take.
This witty, optimistic, and inspiring guide combines psychological theory, practical advice, and personal narrative to empower readers to take a proactive, independent approach to fixing their marriage.
“Marriage is a challenging journey. Far too many couples lose their way. This wise and uplifting book gives you a roadmap to create a vibrant marriage and come out a far better person on the other side.” (Dr. Ellyn Bader, PhD, Director of The Couples Institute)
“Feel like you live on the verge of ripping your partner’s head off and shoving it down the neck hole? It Takes One to Tango is for you. Author Winifred Reilly not only explains why marriage is so predictably frustrating, but more important she reveals how you can turn the tide without your spouse’s help or even consent. Using her own marriage as a litmus test, Reilly offers a pragmatic alternative to subjecting an unwilling participant to years of pricey, unproductive marriage therapy or talking yourself blue in the face.” — Jenna McCarthy, author of If It Was Easy They’d Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon
Winifred M. Reilly is a marriage and family therapist, with a private practice in Berkeley, CA. She has been committed to helping couples and individuals build strong, loving relationships for more than 35 years. Winifred is the author of the relationship advice blog Speaking of Marriage, and her work has appeared in The Good Men Project, xoJane, and The Huffington Post.
Connect with Winifred
Tour Stops for IT TAKES ONE TO TANGO:
Monday, July 24th: Book Mama Blog
Wednesday, July 26th: Diary of a Stay at Home Mom
Monday, July 31st: Write Read Life
Wednesday, August 2nd: Suzy Approved
Monday, August 7th: Thoughts on This ‘n That
Friday, August 11th: Patricia’s Wisdom
Monday, August 14th: Stranded in Chaos
Tuesday, August 15th: Jathan & Heather
Wednesday, August 16th: Books a la Mode – author guest post
Thursday, August 24th: Steph the Bookworm